The most tormenting way to deal with guilt - conceal it and live with the fear of exposure.
Maybe envy is the only one of the seven deadly sins that does not bring immediate gratification and fear adds apprehension to remorse in the midst of guilt.
As we learn from the movies, the blackmailer is never satisfied or sufficiently compensated, as is the one who lives in fear while nursing guilt ends up by blackmailing his or her own heart in order to pay the mind. And the heart is never consoled, for the mind is never sufficiently paid.
A wrong that is concealed seldom stops within the one who harbours that hurt.
The pain is sooner or later spread to others, particularly to those closest to us. Victimless crimes are an illusion.
The story of Jacob’s deception of his father shows us how a nation was wronged as a result – deceit is a monster that needs constant feeding.
In an attempt to steal the blessing, Jacob thought he would only deceive his father and flee to some place of refuge until his father’s anger subsided. But his duplicity severely wounded the entire household. Because of his sin he would be absent from his mother’s bedside when she died.
Esau spent years tracking him down, and when the moment of confrontation between the brothers finally arrived, Jacob wrestled all night in prayer because of his fear that the wrong he had committed years before would be avenged against his children.
He could no longer run.
SAT-7 lives, operates and shares the Gospel in this area of the world where the harsh reality is that during thousands of years of history in the Middle East blood has been spilled because of wrongs that were carried forward for generations.
Experience dictates that sensitivity be at the forefront when dealing with one overtaken by fear. At the same time truth demands that such an individual be honestly addressed lest, in a desire not to add to the pain they already feel, we rob them of the possibility of healing – I am thinking of abuse at the moment.
No one wants to admit that at the heart of our malady is a mangled spirituality. The story from Greek mythology of Aprhrodite’s infidelities may still have something to say to us. Living as she was in her unfaithfulness, she gave birth to two sons among others, one called Eros and the other called Phobos. Illicit indulgences beget eroticism and fear. This generation has birthed these twin monsters.
If expelling guilt by irreverence makes life unlivable and smothering it by pride makes one’s life unaccountable, then concealing guilty by fear makes life unbearable.
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